Hard Decisions and Good-byes

We had a very hard decision to make just one and a half months ago.  A decision that would dictate how close we could be to our girls, where we were going to start our family, and basically the direction of the rest of our lives.  It was hard to un-plug and get perspective in Santiago, so Matt had a great idea to go skiing for our anniversary again.  This year was a working anniversary.  As we swooped down the slopes and admired the amazing view of the Andes, we worked through all the pros and cons of either decision. 

In the end, we realized that the restraunt we were looking at in Santiago was a bit too rich for our blood, and had a few too many risks with it.  In order to think about opening our own restraunt, we would have to return to the US for more experience.  Once we made our decision, a huge weight was taken off our shoulders, and we were happy to finally have a decision. 

But the funny part is, you can know a decision is the best decision for you and your family at this moment in time, but it doesn't mean that your heart will be convinced.  In the weeks to follow, we had to say some very very hard good-byes.  How do you tell Escarlette, who always asks if we're going to our country in a plane, that we are leaving for a very very long time?  Does she know that we still love her more than anything else in the world?  How do you tell Cinthia, who is 15, and see that knowing look in her eyes?  She knew this day would be coming sooner than later.  She still loves us, but it's no wonder it takes so long for them to grow close after so many people come in and out of their lives. 

I know that we're not just another non-descript volunteer that comes and goes.  I know that they will always be my Yenny, my Millaray, our Laura, our Cinthia.  I know that we will always write, that our international travels will be limited now to one country, and that the mission and the mentorship will never die, even if from far away.  I keep telling myself that God works in mysterious ways, and that we can do so much for the girls from the US, things we couldn't do as effectively from Chile.  But how do you convince a heart?  You may think you've fooled it for a bit, but it never lasts long.  I guess there are just some things that only time can touch.  Some things you just have to accept, like the fact that our hearts will always be held captive in Chile. 

Hasta pronto mi chiquilla.  Siempre te amaremos, y nuestro deseo y oracion para ti es que vives tu vida con sinceridad, dignidad, y amor.  Hay un bello futuro, esperandote. No lo dudes, lucha por ello.  Con la ayuda de Dios, y su Gracia, tu puedes alcanzar tus suenos.  No es adios, sino hasta pronto.  Te amamos para siempre. Tus Tios, Mateo y Janelle